Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964) on channel 101. Yes. I belong in that movie; I've got a Martian name.
It's a Filipino tradition to cook lots of food on Xmas eve and start eating at midnight (technically Xmas day). It's called Noche Buena. So we've got plenty of food, one dish cooked, the others coming up. You're all invited to come over.
Everybody but the kids and my mom are drinking tonight! Yeah! I've got Captain Morgan and Diet Pepsi. I put more Captain Morgan in it than usual, but I figure I'm gonna take hours to drink it, so I should be fine.
I miss being around drunk and/or stoned friends.
I miss being around drunk and/or stoned friends.
1. Hot chocolate or apple cider?
Hot chocolate
2. Turkey or Ham?
Ham
3. Do you get a Fake or Real you cut it yourself Christmas tree?
I like real trees. I've only celebrated Xmas with a real tree once, when I moved in with my sister. She and her husband had been buying a real tree each year then. But last year, we couldn't find one of the screws of the tree stand, and being cheap, my sister decided not to buy a new one. So no real tree. Instead, she bought this tiny blue lit tree that my nephew chose. We're still using it this year. The presents can easily bury that tree if they were piled up accordingly.
4. Decorations on the outside of your house?
My mom loves it. My mom buys something new every year, but since we haven't been in Utah that long, our decorations aren't over the top. I like the rope light that's not long enough to cover the front of the house. It stops just a few feet from the end of the roof.
5. Snowball fights or sledding?
I love sledding, but I've only done it once, the first time I saw snow when I was little. My nephew keeps throwing snowballs at me, and I let him. A couple of days ago he threw a big ice block at my back and it hurt pretty bad. I told him never to throw hardened snow again 'cause that's like throwing stones.
6. Do you enjoy going downtown shopping?
I'd walk around, but I won't buy anything. I do all my shopping online.
7. Favorite Christmas song?
I like a bunch of them from![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
llivejournal's "I Love You Baby Jesus, Happy Birthday" mixes. Let's go with Edward Furlong's "It's Christmas Time." I laugh whenever I listen to it. I like Jesus related music 'cause I used to have a Jesus obsession. I didn't think of him as god or my savior; I just liked all the Jesus kitsch and thought Jesus was a pretty cool guy. I like him more now that I'm diagnosed with a mental illness 'cause I think he was the most successful schizophrenic ever.
8. How do you feel about Christmas movies?
I like them in general. I don't remember watching a one that I hated.
9. When is it too early to start listening to Christmas music?
Sometimes a Xmas song would play when my ipod's on shuffle any time of the year. My dad said that they were already playing Xmas music in the Philippines when he visited in September.
10. Stockings before or after presents?
After.
11. Carolers, do you or do you not watch and listen to them?
Caroling is a big thing in the Philippines. I used to love doing it when I was little 'cause it made me some money. I can't sing, so when I'm in a group, I don't sing that loud so everyone else's voices would block out mine. In the U.S. I guess I don't mind them. I've never encountered them here, though.
12. Go to someone else’s house or they come to you?
I used to like going to someone else's house. Since I've moved to Utah with my family, I've been staying in. I don't know anyone besides them here.
13. Do you read the Christmas Story?
I googled "The Christmas Story," and according to the results, no. But I have read it.
14. What do you do after presents and dinner?
Clean up?
15. What is your favorite holiday smell?
oranges, peppermint, pine, food my mom cooks
16. Ice skating or walking around the mall?
I've been ice skating with friends before, but I never learned how to--I just held on to the sides or got pulled by friends. I used to hate walking around the mall, and I still do 'cause I don't wanna buy anything.
17. Do you open a present or presents on Christmas Eve, or wait until Christmas day?
I was talking to my sister about this today, and she said that we opened presents on Xmas eve, then opened the ones from Santa on Christmas day. My nephew's always opened presents on Xmas day, but this year my sister's letting him open a small one tonight, saving the rest for tomorrow.
18. Favorite Christmas memory?
For a few years when I was little, my dad made our own Xmas "tree." It was just a pole in a pot of soil. He strung lights from the top of the pole to the rim of the pot, forming right triangles with the strings of light as the hypotenuses. I was so embarrassed by it. Then when I got older, I realized he was being creative with the little stuff he had. When I watched the Festivus Seinfeld episode, I was totally reminded of our Xmas pole.
19. Favorite Part about winter?
I love the snow. But I hate it too.
20. Ever been kissed under mistletoe?
No.
Hot chocolate
2. Turkey or Ham?
Ham
3. Do you get a Fake or Real you cut it yourself Christmas tree?
I like real trees. I've only celebrated Xmas with a real tree once, when I moved in with my sister. She and her husband had been buying a real tree each year then. But last year, we couldn't find one of the screws of the tree stand, and being cheap, my sister decided not to buy a new one. So no real tree. Instead, she bought this tiny blue lit tree that my nephew chose. We're still using it this year. The presents can easily bury that tree if they were piled up accordingly.
4. Decorations on the outside of your house?
My mom loves it. My mom buys something new every year, but since we haven't been in Utah that long, our decorations aren't over the top. I like the rope light that's not long enough to cover the front of the house. It stops just a few feet from the end of the roof.
5. Snowball fights or sledding?
I love sledding, but I've only done it once, the first time I saw snow when I was little. My nephew keeps throwing snowballs at me, and I let him. A couple of days ago he threw a big ice block at my back and it hurt pretty bad. I told him never to throw hardened snow again 'cause that's like throwing stones.
6. Do you enjoy going downtown shopping?
I'd walk around, but I won't buy anything. I do all my shopping online.
7. Favorite Christmas song?
I like a bunch of them from
llivejournal's "I Love You Baby Jesus, Happy Birthday" mixes. Let's go with Edward Furlong's "It's Christmas Time." I laugh whenever I listen to it. I like Jesus related music 'cause I used to have a Jesus obsession. I didn't think of him as god or my savior; I just liked all the Jesus kitsch and thought Jesus was a pretty cool guy. I like him more now that I'm diagnosed with a mental illness 'cause I think he was the most successful schizophrenic ever.8. How do you feel about Christmas movies?
I like them in general. I don't remember watching a one that I hated.
9. When is it too early to start listening to Christmas music?
Sometimes a Xmas song would play when my ipod's on shuffle any time of the year. My dad said that they were already playing Xmas music in the Philippines when he visited in September.
10. Stockings before or after presents?
After.
11. Carolers, do you or do you not watch and listen to them?
Caroling is a big thing in the Philippines. I used to love doing it when I was little 'cause it made me some money. I can't sing, so when I'm in a group, I don't sing that loud so everyone else's voices would block out mine. In the U.S. I guess I don't mind them. I've never encountered them here, though.
12. Go to someone else’s house or they come to you?
I used to like going to someone else's house. Since I've moved to Utah with my family, I've been staying in. I don't know anyone besides them here.
13. Do you read the Christmas Story?
I googled "The Christmas Story," and according to the results, no. But I have read it.
14. What do you do after presents and dinner?
Clean up?
15. What is your favorite holiday smell?
oranges, peppermint, pine, food my mom cooks
16. Ice skating or walking around the mall?
I've been ice skating with friends before, but I never learned how to--I just held on to the sides or got pulled by friends. I used to hate walking around the mall, and I still do 'cause I don't wanna buy anything.
17. Do you open a present or presents on Christmas Eve, or wait until Christmas day?
I was talking to my sister about this today, and she said that we opened presents on Xmas eve, then opened the ones from Santa on Christmas day. My nephew's always opened presents on Xmas day, but this year my sister's letting him open a small one tonight, saving the rest for tomorrow.
18. Favorite Christmas memory?
For a few years when I was little, my dad made our own Xmas "tree." It was just a pole in a pot of soil. He strung lights from the top of the pole to the rim of the pot, forming right triangles with the strings of light as the hypotenuses. I was so embarrassed by it. Then when I got older, I realized he was being creative with the little stuff he had. When I watched the Festivus Seinfeld episode, I was totally reminded of our Xmas pole.
19. Favorite Part about winter?
I love the snow. But I hate it too.
20. Ever been kissed under mistletoe?
No.
I've been encountering a lot of these lately. A couple of schizophrenics whose posts I've read online think Asians are scary. I went to a website and it says that somebody at postsecret mentioned that she's afraid of Asians. Then there's also Palin, who went to a college in Hawaii for just one semester 'cause she didn't feel comfortable being surrounded by Asians.
My life in San Francisco was the exact opposite of that. Asians were picked on by other minorities, especially Black people. This is the reality of race relations in San Francisco, or at least in my neighborhood. I had Chinese friends who joined Chinese gangs so they can stand up against the Black kids who picked on them on the bus. In the buses, there was always animosity between the Chinese and the Blacks. Neither of them liked each other. Neither of them understood each other 'cause of the language barrier--this goes for adults too.
I'm not saying that Blacks and Asians don't get along at all in SF. When they're both into the same things (i.e. taste in music) and talk the same slang, they're cool with each other. But the "ghetto" Blacks and the "ghetto" Chinese don't usually get along (I'm using "ghetto" here to describe a tight community of the same race, so "ghetto Chinese" is like FOBs, or ABCs who just hang out with each other, speak Chinese to each other, and have parents who are FOBs). I know a Chinese friend in middle school who didn't use to get along with the Black kids, but who now has some Black friends. I guess age has something to do with it too. Kids are just mean. But like what you saw in that youtube Muni video that went around a while ago, adults are pretty fucked up to each other too.
I grew up in a mixed race neighborhood, considered as one of San Francisco's "ghettos"--here I'm using the word the way it's commonly used, a low-income neighborhood populated by people of color where crimes are supposedly rampant. I lived by two housing projects and a torn-down building that was once famous for being a terrible, drug-ridden gov't subsidized apartment building (when I went to college they finally finished building a gov't subsidized apartment complex on the lot). The non-gov't houses that were in the neighborhood like the one I was living in (we didn't own the house; it was converted into an illegal apartment shared by two families and the mother of the owner) were mostly populated by Asians. The gov't buildings were mostly populated by Blacks. Of course there were lots of Hispanics in the neighborhood too, as well as Whites. But when you go to one of the neighborhood schools or take one of the buses that pass by the neighborhood, you mostly encounter Blacks and Asians. So that's how I saw it as.
Thankfully, I never encountered any racism in my neighborhood 'cause Filipinos were considered to be the "cool" Asians. I also could have passed for Hispanic, who were also considered to be cooler than East Asians. I was just left alone. Incidentally, my friend who looked like a Hispanic nerd--and who was, a Hispanic nerd--got mugged on the bus by a bunch of Black kids. He was with one of our Black friends, who was just as helpless. So maybe race has nothing to do with it--it's just nerds (and you know how Asians are stereotyped as such) against cool people.
So, coming from this background, I find it very, very strange that some people are afraid of Asians. I guess you could say that the people in my neighborhood who discriminated against Asians were also afraid of them because they didn't understand them. I think ignorance against Asians is very funny. So long as no violence is involved, I find Asian phobia hilarious. I wouldn't mess with Chinese or any other Asian gangs, and you can say that I'm afraid of them (although I wasn't when I was younger--I was fearless then), but Asians, in general, are scary? Really? Is it 'cause we all know Kung-Fu?
My life in San Francisco was the exact opposite of that. Asians were picked on by other minorities, especially Black people. This is the reality of race relations in San Francisco, or at least in my neighborhood. I had Chinese friends who joined Chinese gangs so they can stand up against the Black kids who picked on them on the bus. In the buses, there was always animosity between the Chinese and the Blacks. Neither of them liked each other. Neither of them understood each other 'cause of the language barrier--this goes for adults too.
I'm not saying that Blacks and Asians don't get along at all in SF. When they're both into the same things (i.e. taste in music) and talk the same slang, they're cool with each other. But the "ghetto" Blacks and the "ghetto" Chinese don't usually get along (I'm using "ghetto" here to describe a tight community of the same race, so "ghetto Chinese" is like FOBs, or ABCs who just hang out with each other, speak Chinese to each other, and have parents who are FOBs). I know a Chinese friend in middle school who didn't use to get along with the Black kids, but who now has some Black friends. I guess age has something to do with it too. Kids are just mean. But like what you saw in that youtube Muni video that went around a while ago, adults are pretty fucked up to each other too.
I grew up in a mixed race neighborhood, considered as one of San Francisco's "ghettos"--here I'm using the word the way it's commonly used, a low-income neighborhood populated by people of color where crimes are supposedly rampant. I lived by two housing projects and a torn-down building that was once famous for being a terrible, drug-ridden gov't subsidized apartment building (when I went to college they finally finished building a gov't subsidized apartment complex on the lot). The non-gov't houses that were in the neighborhood like the one I was living in (we didn't own the house; it was converted into an illegal apartment shared by two families and the mother of the owner) were mostly populated by Asians. The gov't buildings were mostly populated by Blacks. Of course there were lots of Hispanics in the neighborhood too, as well as Whites. But when you go to one of the neighborhood schools or take one of the buses that pass by the neighborhood, you mostly encounter Blacks and Asians. So that's how I saw it as.
Thankfully, I never encountered any racism in my neighborhood 'cause Filipinos were considered to be the "cool" Asians. I also could have passed for Hispanic, who were also considered to be cooler than East Asians. I was just left alone. Incidentally, my friend who looked like a Hispanic nerd--and who was, a Hispanic nerd--got mugged on the bus by a bunch of Black kids. He was with one of our Black friends, who was just as helpless. So maybe race has nothing to do with it--it's just nerds (and you know how Asians are stereotyped as such) against cool people.
So, coming from this background, I find it very, very strange that some people are afraid of Asians. I guess you could say that the people in my neighborhood who discriminated against Asians were also afraid of them because they didn't understand them. I think ignorance against Asians is very funny. So long as no violence is involved, I find Asian phobia hilarious. I wouldn't mess with Chinese or any other Asian gangs, and you can say that I'm afraid of them (although I wasn't when I was younger--I was fearless then), but Asians, in general, are scary? Really? Is it 'cause we all know Kung-Fu?
There are so many presents under the Xmas tree, and most of them are for Jaydin. Growing up, my sister and I only got one Xmas present from our parents. Jaydin gets more than a dozen from all of us, four from me. I think that's a good thing. Say what you want about the commercialization of Xmas--I think it's great that kids are happy. Xmas is a commercial holiday. Fuck the Xians for whining about how their lord is forgotten. Xmas is all about presents, which is why I think non-Xians should celebrate it too. Who doesn't want to get presents? As for me, I love giving presents. It makes people happy.
My nephew has a friend in school who tells him about Jesus. He told me that he's not afraid of ghosts because his friend said that if you pray to Jesus, the ghost will go away. I told him Jesus isn't real. I told him he doesn't have to believe in him. If I had a kid, I'd make sure he doesn't get influenced by Xians. I'd tell him there is no god. His friends can believe in him all they want, but as for my kid, I don't want him to think there is one just 'cause his friends say so. As you can tell, I want a boy. But really, I don't want any kids. I just think the idea of raising one--shaping his foundations and teaching him--sounds like a fun project. But I'd hate to do all the diaper changing, the feeding, and the money spending. Then there's my fear of going insane again and how that would affect my child.
/Family
I was trying to watch a movie the other night but I felt so nauseous. The DVD's been on paused ever since. I watched most of a movie on IFC last night. I wish I had been paying attention when it started. I also watched Arrested Development. I keep forgetting to watch it whenever it's on.
Jackass 3 has been confirmed that it's gonna be on 3D. I heard that there will be 30 movies next year that's gonna be on 3D. Johnny Knoxville just had a baby boy. He also has a 13 year old girl. Dave England has a couple of kids. Jeff Tremaine, the director, just had a kid last month. Sean Cliver, one of the crew members/credited sometimes as producer, has a 6 year old son. There's really gonna be a Son of Jackass film in the distant future. Let's hope I'll still be alive then. Or let's hope not 'cause I don't wanna live that long. I hate being as old as I am now as it is.
My nephew has a friend in school who tells him about Jesus. He told me that he's not afraid of ghosts because his friend said that if you pray to Jesus, the ghost will go away. I told him Jesus isn't real. I told him he doesn't have to believe in him. If I had a kid, I'd make sure he doesn't get influenced by Xians. I'd tell him there is no god. His friends can believe in him all they want, but as for my kid, I don't want him to think there is one just 'cause his friends say so. As you can tell, I want a boy. But really, I don't want any kids. I just think the idea of raising one--shaping his foundations and teaching him--sounds like a fun project. But I'd hate to do all the diaper changing, the feeding, and the money spending. Then there's my fear of going insane again and how that would affect my child.
/Family
I was trying to watch a movie the other night but I felt so nauseous. The DVD's been on paused ever since. I watched most of a movie on IFC last night. I wish I had been paying attention when it started. I also watched Arrested Development. I keep forgetting to watch it whenever it's on.
Jackass 3 has been confirmed that it's gonna be on 3D. I heard that there will be 30 movies next year that's gonna be on 3D. Johnny Knoxville just had a baby boy. He also has a 13 year old girl. Dave England has a couple of kids. Jeff Tremaine, the director, just had a kid last month. Sean Cliver, one of the crew members/credited sometimes as producer, has a 6 year old son. There's really gonna be a Son of Jackass film in the distant future. Let's hope I'll still be alive then. Or let's hope not 'cause I don't wanna live that long. I hate being as old as I am now as it is.
MOVIES
10/10
Donnie Darko (Rewatch, 2001, Richard Kelly, 35mm, Clay) - 9.5
Donnie Darko has visions of a large rabbit, and is fascinated by time travel, and a plane engine from the future falls on his bed, but he escapes death because he’s sleepwalking. It’s a really fucking great high school movie, dealing with darker themes, and it’s also pretty hilarious. High school, time travel, dark comedy, death, grade-school talent shows, and Patrick Swayze are all things that I’m pretty in love with in film, and this combines all of those things, plus it’s even got some pedophilia thrown in for good measure. Amazing.
This was the Original Theatrical Cut, by the way, not the lame Director’s Cut. I don’t even remember what all the changes were in the Director’s Cut, just that none of them worked.
10/14
Toy Story (Rewatch, 1995, John Lasseter, Disney Digital 3D, Castro) - 9.0
A child’s toys come to life when he’s not around, and he gets a new toy named Buzz Lightyear who doesn’t know he’s a toy, and he becomes the new favorite. Really charming and funny, and with some dark stuff, like the toy-torturing neighbor. An original and great story told perfectly.
Toy Story 2 (Rewatch, 1999, John Lasseter, Lee Unkrich, Ash Brannon, Disney Digital 3D, Castro) - 9.0
Woody is stolen by some fat guy who owns a toy store, who wants to sell him to the Japanese, and while Woody gets in touch with his roots, the other toys go on an adventure to rescue him. Another wholly unique story, that’s fun, touching, and charming. Great fucking movies.
The 3D, unfortunately, added nothing. Most of the modern 3D is focused more on adding depth than just having shit fly out at you, which I find perfectly satisfying, as it makes it feel less like a gimmick, and more like the future of cinema. But the Toy Story double feature hardly even did that, so although it was nice to see the movies again in the theater, it was completely pointless to be wearing the glasses.
10/15
Whatever Works (2009, Woody Allen, 35mm, Red Vic) - 8.5
Larry David is a neurotic misanthrope who takes in a young runaway (Evan Rachel Wood) from Mississippi, and teaches her his angry ideas about life, and she develops a crush on him that leads to marriage, and eventually her parents track her down, and make discoveries about themselves while in New York. Allen does an impressive job making the love story between two people of radically different ages (something that grosses me out) actually feel natural, and as if they truly had something vital to offer one another. And when the girl inevitably finds someone her own age who is obviously more appropriate for her, I kind of hated him and didn’t want it to work out. Larry David’s character is an asshole, but always funny and likable, and Evan Rachel Wood, who I’ve always liked but was never overly impressed with, is fucking adorable and amazing. One of my favorite Woody Allen movies.
Whip It (2009, Drew Barrymore, 35mm, Vogue) - 9.5
Ellen Page lives in a small-town in Texas, kind of near Austin (the city, not me) and her mom wants her to be a beauty queen, but she wants to be a roller-derby star. It tackles a lot of issues involving her parents, her best friend, a new boyfriend, and of course, self-discovery, and aside from the misguided love story with an unlikable boy and a disgusting sex scene in a pool, everything is fucking awesome and perfectly done.
Sometimes with a movie as fun as this one, I get really upset when things start to go wrong. Here, she ends up having a falling out with everyone she loves all at once, and I find myself wishing it could just remain upbeat through the whole movie. But then, with each resolution to her problems, I get all choked up and ecstatic, and I realize it was completely fucking worth the frustration, and I love the movie so much more because of it.
The roller derby scenes look rough and painful, and are suitably fun to watch. The performances are also flawless. Ellen Page makes a perfect lead, and I was especially charmed by her friendship with the eternally charming Alia Shawkat. Marcia Gay Harden, Daniel Stern, Juliette Lewis, Andrew Wilson, and Kristen Wiig are all fucking great as well. Drew Barrymore, already one of my favorite actresses (she has a bit part as well, and is excellent), has made a true classic in the Sports genre, and has proven herself a very promising director (but seriously, leave the pool-sex scenes to Verhoeven).
10/18
Black Book (2007, Paul Verhoeven, Blu-ray) - 8.0
A Jewish woman joins a small resistance group during World War II, and goes undercover with Nazis to find out what they’re up to. An excellent thriller that, in the last third, starts to feel like first season 24, where there’s countless reveals of betrayal, and you can’t trust what side anyone is on. Fucking great.
10/19
Night of the Living Dead (1990, Tom Savini, DVD) - 8.0
A few people are trapped inside a house, and there are zombies outside, and some of the people inside the house don’t get along with each other. This was an excellent update from the original, with a much better pace, and a little more gore. And it was nice to see the Barbara character actually being fucking useful.
TV
10/16
Tales from the Crypt Season 1 (Joel Silver, David Giler, Walter Hill, Richard Donner, Robert Zemeckis, DVD) - 10.0
Six thirty-minute horror tales bookended by The Cryptkeeper, and directed by some awesome directors, and starring some awesome actors. Every single episode in this first season was perfect and amazing. My favorite episodes were all of them.
10/10
Donnie Darko (Rewatch, 2001, Richard Kelly, 35mm, Clay) - 9.5
Donnie Darko has visions of a large rabbit, and is fascinated by time travel, and a plane engine from the future falls on his bed, but he escapes death because he’s sleepwalking. It’s a really fucking great high school movie, dealing with darker themes, and it’s also pretty hilarious. High school, time travel, dark comedy, death, grade-school talent shows, and Patrick Swayze are all things that I’m pretty in love with in film, and this combines all of those things, plus it’s even got some pedophilia thrown in for good measure. Amazing.
This was the Original Theatrical Cut, by the way, not the lame Director’s Cut. I don’t even remember what all the changes were in the Director’s Cut, just that none of them worked.
10/14
Toy Story (Rewatch, 1995, John Lasseter, Disney Digital 3D, Castro) - 9.0
A child’s toys come to life when he’s not around, and he gets a new toy named Buzz Lightyear who doesn’t know he’s a toy, and he becomes the new favorite. Really charming and funny, and with some dark stuff, like the toy-torturing neighbor. An original and great story told perfectly.
Toy Story 2 (Rewatch, 1999, John Lasseter, Lee Unkrich, Ash Brannon, Disney Digital 3D, Castro) - 9.0
Woody is stolen by some fat guy who owns a toy store, who wants to sell him to the Japanese, and while Woody gets in touch with his roots, the other toys go on an adventure to rescue him. Another wholly unique story, that’s fun, touching, and charming. Great fucking movies.
The 3D, unfortunately, added nothing. Most of the modern 3D is focused more on adding depth than just having shit fly out at you, which I find perfectly satisfying, as it makes it feel less like a gimmick, and more like the future of cinema. But the Toy Story double feature hardly even did that, so although it was nice to see the movies again in the theater, it was completely pointless to be wearing the glasses.
10/15
Whatever Works (2009, Woody Allen, 35mm, Red Vic) - 8.5
Larry David is a neurotic misanthrope who takes in a young runaway (Evan Rachel Wood) from Mississippi, and teaches her his angry ideas about life, and she develops a crush on him that leads to marriage, and eventually her parents track her down, and make discoveries about themselves while in New York. Allen does an impressive job making the love story between two people of radically different ages (something that grosses me out) actually feel natural, and as if they truly had something vital to offer one another. And when the girl inevitably finds someone her own age who is obviously more appropriate for her, I kind of hated him and didn’t want it to work out. Larry David’s character is an asshole, but always funny and likable, and Evan Rachel Wood, who I’ve always liked but was never overly impressed with, is fucking adorable and amazing. One of my favorite Woody Allen movies.
Whip It (2009, Drew Barrymore, 35mm, Vogue) - 9.5
Ellen Page lives in a small-town in Texas, kind of near Austin (the city, not me) and her mom wants her to be a beauty queen, but she wants to be a roller-derby star. It tackles a lot of issues involving her parents, her best friend, a new boyfriend, and of course, self-discovery, and aside from the misguided love story with an unlikable boy and a disgusting sex scene in a pool, everything is fucking awesome and perfectly done.
Sometimes with a movie as fun as this one, I get really upset when things start to go wrong. Here, she ends up having a falling out with everyone she loves all at once, and I find myself wishing it could just remain upbeat through the whole movie. But then, with each resolution to her problems, I get all choked up and ecstatic, and I realize it was completely fucking worth the frustration, and I love the movie so much more because of it.
The roller derby scenes look rough and painful, and are suitably fun to watch. The performances are also flawless. Ellen Page makes a perfect lead, and I was especially charmed by her friendship with the eternally charming Alia Shawkat. Marcia Gay Harden, Daniel Stern, Juliette Lewis, Andrew Wilson, and Kristen Wiig are all fucking great as well. Drew Barrymore, already one of my favorite actresses (she has a bit part as well, and is excellent), has made a true classic in the Sports genre, and has proven herself a very promising director (but seriously, leave the pool-sex scenes to Verhoeven).
10/18
Black Book (2007, Paul Verhoeven, Blu-ray) - 8.0
A Jewish woman joins a small resistance group during World War II, and goes undercover with Nazis to find out what they’re up to. An excellent thriller that, in the last third, starts to feel like first season 24, where there’s countless reveals of betrayal, and you can’t trust what side anyone is on. Fucking great.
10/19
Night of the Living Dead (1990, Tom Savini, DVD) - 8.0
A few people are trapped inside a house, and there are zombies outside, and some of the people inside the house don’t get along with each other. This was an excellent update from the original, with a much better pace, and a little more gore. And it was nice to see the Barbara character actually being fucking useful.
TV
10/16
Tales from the Crypt Season 1 (Joel Silver, David Giler, Walter Hill, Richard Donner, Robert Zemeckis, DVD) - 10.0
Six thirty-minute horror tales bookended by The Cryptkeeper, and directed by some awesome directors, and starring some awesome actors. Every single episode in this first season was perfect and amazing. My favorite episodes were all of them.
Top 25 Non-Horror, Non-Documentary Films
1. The Piano Teacher (2002)
2. Gozu (2003)
3. American Astronaut (2001)
4. Gerry (2006)
5. Coffee & Cigarettes (2003)
6. Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002)
7. Elephant (2003)
8. Jackass Number Two (2006)
9. Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)
10. I'm Not There (2007)
11. Jackass: The Movie (2002)
12. Oldboy (2003)
13. Dogville (2004)
14. Donnie Darko (2001)
15. Battle Royale (2001)
16. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
17. City of God (2002)
18. Suicide Club (2001)
19. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
20. Mulholland Dr. (2001)
21. Palindromes (2005)
22. No Country for Old Men (2007)
23. Inglourious Basterds (2009)
24. Last Days (2005)
25. Bully (2001)
Top 15 Documentary & Mockumentary Films
1. Grizzly Man (2005)
2. Hell House (2001)
3. The Corporation (2004)
4. Spellbound (2002)
5. Capturing the Friedmans (2003)
6. Sicko (2007)
7. Incident at Loch Ness (2004)
8. Metal: A Headbanger's Journey (2005)
9. No Direction Home: Bob Dylan (2005)
10. LoudQUIETloud: A Film About the Pixies (2006)
11. This Film is Not Yet Rated (2006)
12. The Union: The Business Behind Getting High (2007)
13. Devil's Playground (2002)
14. The Fog of War (2003)
15. March of the Penguins (2004)
Top 10 Horror Films
1. High Tension (2003)
2. Ginger Snaps (2000)
3. Cabin Fever (2003)
4. Otto; Or, Up With Dead People (2008)
5. 28 Days Later (2002)
6. Land of the Dead (2005)
7. Versus (2000)
8. Hostel (2005)
9. Hostel: Part II (2007)
10. Let the Right One In (2008)
1. The Piano Teacher (2002)
2. Gozu (2003)
3. American Astronaut (2001)
4. Gerry (2006)
5. Coffee & Cigarettes (2003)
6. Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002)
7. Elephant (2003)
8. Jackass Number Two (2006)
9. Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)
10. I'm Not There (2007)
11. Jackass: The Movie (2002)
12. Oldboy (2003)
13. Dogville (2004)
14. Donnie Darko (2001)
15. Battle Royale (2001)
16. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
17. City of God (2002)
18. Suicide Club (2001)
19. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)
20. Mulholland Dr. (2001)
21. Palindromes (2005)
22. No Country for Old Men (2007)
23. Inglourious Basterds (2009)
24. Last Days (2005)
25. Bully (2001)
Top 15 Documentary & Mockumentary Films
1. Grizzly Man (2005)
2. Hell House (2001)
3. The Corporation (2004)
4. Spellbound (2002)
5. Capturing the Friedmans (2003)
6. Sicko (2007)
7. Incident at Loch Ness (2004)
8. Metal: A Headbanger's Journey (2005)
9. No Direction Home: Bob Dylan (2005)
10. LoudQUIETloud: A Film About the Pixies (2006)
11. This Film is Not Yet Rated (2006)
12. The Union: The Business Behind Getting High (2007)
13. Devil's Playground (2002)
14. The Fog of War (2003)
15. March of the Penguins (2004)
Top 10 Horror Films
1. High Tension (2003)
2. Ginger Snaps (2000)
3. Cabin Fever (2003)
4. Otto; Or, Up With Dead People (2008)
5. 28 Days Later (2002)
6. Land of the Dead (2005)
7. Versus (2000)
8. Hostel (2005)
9. Hostel: Part II (2007)
10. Let the Right One In (2008)
I've been debating over whether or not I want to do a Best of the Decade list. It's hard enough trying to make a yearly list, where I have to compare movies I saw last week against movies I saw in January. How am I supposed to compare last week's movies with ones I saw when I was still in fucking high school? I just worry that it'll be highly biased toward the latter half of the decade, especially since I wasn't always keeping track of what I was watching as obsessively as I do now. I don't know, I'm sure I'll still do it (once the decade is fucking over, anyway, why is everybody so goddamn eager to post prematurely?). Anyway, here are my favorite films from the 1920s.
TOP 16 MOVIES OF THE DECADE - 1920s
1. The Unholy Three (1925, Tod Browning)
2. The Kid (1921, Charles Chaplin)
3. Safety Last! (1923, Fred C. Newmeyer and Sam Taylor)
4. West of Zanzibar (1928, Tod Browning)
5. He Done His Best (1926, Charley Bowers and Harold Muller)
6. The Playhouse (1921, Buster Keaton)
7. A Wild Roomer (1927, Charley Bowers and Harold Muller)
8. The Unknown (1927, Tod Browning)
9. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927, F.W. Murnau)
10. The Circus (1928, Charles Chaplin)
11. Egged On (1926, Charley Bowers, Harold Muller, and Ted Sears)
12. The Frogs Who Wanted a King (1923, Wladyslaw Starewicz)
13. The Town Rat and the Country Rat (1927, Wladyslaw Starewicz)
14. Say Ah-h! (1928, Charley Bowers)
15. Now You Tell One (1926, Charley Bowers and Harold Muller)
16. Metropolis (1927, Fritz Lang)
My knowledge of film pre-1920 is even more limited. My favorite film from the 1900s (and likely the only one I've seen) is Le Cochon Danseur (1907) and my favorite film from the 1910s is The Cameraman's Revenge (1912, Wladyslaw Starewicz).
1. The Unholy Three (1925, Tod Browning)
2. The Kid (1921, Charles Chaplin)
3. Safety Last! (1923, Fred C. Newmeyer and Sam Taylor)
4. West of Zanzibar (1928, Tod Browning)
5. He Done His Best (1926, Charley Bowers and Harold Muller)
6. The Playhouse (1921, Buster Keaton)
7. A Wild Roomer (1927, Charley Bowers and Harold Muller)
8. The Unknown (1927, Tod Browning)
9. Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927, F.W. Murnau)
10. The Circus (1928, Charles Chaplin)
11. Egged On (1926, Charley Bowers, Harold Muller, and Ted Sears)
12. The Frogs Who Wanted a King (1923, Wladyslaw Starewicz)
13. The Town Rat and the Country Rat (1927, Wladyslaw Starewicz)
14. Say Ah-h! (1928, Charley Bowers)
15. Now You Tell One (1926, Charley Bowers and Harold Muller)
16. Metropolis (1927, Fritz Lang)
My knowledge of film pre-1920 is even more limited. My favorite film from the 1900s (and likely the only one I've seen) is Le Cochon Danseur (1907) and my favorite film from the 1910s is The Cameraman's Revenge (1912, Wladyslaw Starewicz).
Or is the term "torture porn" becoming the most overused, irritating description in film criticism?
By the way, Antichrist reminds me of Marnie, and I'm in the middle of a cognitive dissonance 'cause I hated Marnie but loved Antichrist.
By the way, Antichrist reminds me of Marnie, and I'm in the middle of a cognitive dissonance 'cause I hated Marnie but loved Antichrist.
Today is Not the Greatest Day, But It's Still Great
Posted byschadenfreudeli on 2009.12.18 at 21:30
The other night I re-watched Kathryn Bigelow's Near Dark (1987)--it was on IFC. It's not as good as the first time I watched it when I had a strong cowboy fixation, loved vampires, and really stoned, but it was still great. I still like cowboys, and being in Utah, I see a lot of them, but I don't think they're as awesome as I once thought. Anyway, Near Dark is about a young cowboy who gets bitten by a vampire and abducted by the vampire's family. They're not a biological family; just a group of vampires who travel together, but they're very close so they're like a family. The cowboy's dad and sister leave home to look for him. I don't like the way you can make a vampire human again, and in the movie, it's done in a very boring, simple way. I still liked the film though. Joshua John Miller, whom I loved in River's Edge (1986), is awesome in it.
Today I went to Salt Lake to watch Lars Von Trier's Antichrist (2009). My dad and I left home early because I was afraid we'd get off on the wrong freeway exit and get lost, which almost always happens whenever we go to Salt Lake. My dad made a detour to the bank first, so I was really pissed off 'cause he used up the leeway time I reserved for getting lost. We were about to get off on the wrong exit again, but thank god we averted it and got to the theatre just in time. They didn't have hot tea but the guy who sold me the ticket said I could go to the cafe next door and bring in a drink. I had to stand in line, but it went by pretty quickly. The cafe had a huge tea selection, and I went for Pu-erh. I didn't seep the tea bag in long enough 'cause I really needed to get to the theatre 'cause the movie was starting. I didn't think that I could just set the tea bag on the floor and just throw it in the trash can once the movie was over; I thought I'd have to stand up in the middle of the movie to do that. So my tea wasn't strong enough, which was a bummer 'cause I was really looking forward to a good cup of Pu-erh since it had been a while since I had it. I was planning on going back to the cafe to buy some loose leaf tea--they might have had Pu-erh since they sell them by the cup, but I ended up forgetting once the movie was over. Anyway, Antichrist is really good. It's about a couple whose son dies. The woman gets very depressed so her therapist husband helps her get over her grief and fear of the woods. They go to the woods--they stay at a cabin, and from there both of them experience the "evils" of nature. I liked everything about the film. I went in there not really knowing if I'd like it since I got mixed reviews from my friends, but I ended up liking it. A lot.
Since I got to the theatre a little late for the trailers, the only one I saw was for Michael Haneke's The White Ribbon (2009). I love Haneke, but the trailer did not interest me. But maybe I'd still go see it once it comes out here.
Today I went to Salt Lake to watch Lars Von Trier's Antichrist (2009). My dad and I left home early because I was afraid we'd get off on the wrong freeway exit and get lost, which almost always happens whenever we go to Salt Lake. My dad made a detour to the bank first, so I was really pissed off 'cause he used up the leeway time I reserved for getting lost. We were about to get off on the wrong exit again, but thank god we averted it and got to the theatre just in time. They didn't have hot tea but the guy who sold me the ticket said I could go to the cafe next door and bring in a drink. I had to stand in line, but it went by pretty quickly. The cafe had a huge tea selection, and I went for Pu-erh. I didn't seep the tea bag in long enough 'cause I really needed to get to the theatre 'cause the movie was starting. I didn't think that I could just set the tea bag on the floor and just throw it in the trash can once the movie was over; I thought I'd have to stand up in the middle of the movie to do that. So my tea wasn't strong enough, which was a bummer 'cause I was really looking forward to a good cup of Pu-erh since it had been a while since I had it. I was planning on going back to the cafe to buy some loose leaf tea--they might have had Pu-erh since they sell them by the cup, but I ended up forgetting once the movie was over. Anyway, Antichrist is really good. It's about a couple whose son dies. The woman gets very depressed so her therapist husband helps her get over her grief and fear of the woods. They go to the woods--they stay at a cabin, and from there both of them experience the "evils" of nature. I liked everything about the film. I went in there not really knowing if I'd like it since I got mixed reviews from my friends, but I ended up liking it. A lot.
Since I got to the theatre a little late for the trailers, the only one I saw was for Michael Haneke's The White Ribbon (2009). I love Haneke, but the trailer did not interest me. But maybe I'd still go see it once it comes out here.
- My dad brought home a bunch food from the Philippines. I don't like the fish he brought. It's smoked so it smells good, but it's one of those fish that has a lot of tiny bones so I don't like to eat it. He brought a lot of San Miguel beer. He told customs that the box full of food was only full of beer, 'cause they wouldn't allow some of the food he had, including fish. There's this rice & coconut desert/snack that's cooked in a slim cylindrical wood like bamboo (he says it's not bamboo but it certainly looks like it). It's called tinubong and it's made in the province where my dad's from--Ilocos Sur. You have to hit the wood against cement to break it open. It's sweet and tastes good. Here's a video (in Tagalog) showing how to make them. I'm eating one right now.
- I went to the pharmacy to pick up my Invega today. Then I went to the grocery store where they ran out of both Silk Nog & Pumpkin Spice. I still have an opened Pumpkin Spice and an unopened one. I bought ingredients to make a vegetarian sandwich. It would almost be a vegan one, but my mom bought bread made with buttermilk. I bought non-dairy swiss cheese, which I've never tried before. I hope it's good. I love vegan ice cream and of course soy milk, so I probably will also like vegan cheese. I bought tofu, but I wish I had thought of making a portabella sandwich, 'cause I miss those. They made really good ones at the Bard cafe.
- This season of Community is over. It was a great one. I hope it gets pick up for more. Right now I'm watching an SNL Xmas special and they have "Dick in the Box" on. I'm not a Justin Timberlake fan, but I gotta admit, he was really good in SNL.
- I printed the bus & train directions to the movie theatre where I'm gonna see Antichrist tomorrow. It takes 2 hours and 13 minutes to get there. I'm gonna see the 2 pm show.
- The directions are a little hard to figure out as I still don't really understand the way the addresses in Utah work (if you know my address you know what I mean; it's really weird--it's like latitude and longitude, but not really; it's just confusing). I also don't know my north from south or east from west so I don't know what "northbound," etc. means. I talked to my mom who told me to just asked my dad for a ride to Salt Lake tomorrow. So I did. He's not too happy--he asked the same question he always asks--Why do you have to go all the way to Salt Lake to watch a movie?
Weeks ago, I watched a couple of short films about baseball on TCM. The first one was Pat Sullivan's Felix Saves the Day (1922). It's the old cartoon of Felix the Cat. It starts off with Felix and his friend playing baseball, then something that I forgot happens, and Felix's friend gets arrested. There's a big ballgame going on and the home team is losing. Felix tries to get his friend out of jail so he could play for the home team, and I think he does end up succeeding. Or maybe it's Felix who ends up playing and saving the team? It's been a while and I've been having short-term memory problems since the second time I went psychotic, so I've forgotten it all. But I what I do remember is the racist depiction of Black people. You know how they used to draw them on comics and cartoons back then? Yeah, that way. They (or was it just one guy) were also depicted as doing things only stupid people would do.
The second film is Jerome Storm's The Busher (1919). It's about a small town baseball player who makes it to the big leagues. As soon as he leaves town for the big city to play for a major league team, he gets a new set of clothes, forgets his friends and family, and leaves his small-town love for a fashionable big city groupie. He plays miserably in his first game so the team fires him. He bums around for a while, until he eventually returns home ashamed, but his father takes him in and his love forgives him. The small town team asks him to play in a game they're losing and he wins it for the team. A big league manager sees him in this game and asks him to play for the majors again. The movie ends with him and his love about to play with a horse.
I watched Rainer Werner Fassbinder's Lola (1981) on DVD. It's about a small town where the entire city council patronize a whorehouse. A new city official comes in, and he's very professional and has no clue on how corrupt the town is. Another city councilman--the richest of the bunch--tells his whorehouse girlfriend Lola about this new guy and she bets him that she can make him kiss her, and the corrupt councilman tells her that a straight, proper guy like that would never kiss a girl like her. So Lola seduces the new guy and he falls in love with her. I liked the film. I really like the way it ended, which I won't give away. It's a good film.
I watched a lot of Barbara Kopple's Havoc (2005) on IFC. I didn't get to see it from the beginning, and there were a few scenes that I missed in the middle, but I got the gist of it. It's about a rich LA kid who goes to East LA and befriends a gang member. She's very intrigued by that lifestyle so she changes her style to fit in, but none of the gang members takes her seriously; they all think that she's just some rich wanna-be. I was very surprised with the way the film, directed by a woman, handled the topic of rape. It sends a message that some girls just asks for it. Or calls it when they find themselves in a sexual situation they don't like but they brought upon themselves in the first place. Although I kinda agree that the guys shouldn't be punished when the girl was the one who wanted a gang bang to begin with, I think the girl still deserves sympathy 'cause it's still a pretty fucking traumatizing experience. She's drunk and doesn't understand what she's about to get into. Kopple could have given her a little more sympathy. Or maybe I'm completely missing the point, and that Kopple doesn't share the view expressed by the main character in the film. Maybe she's just showing how messed up the girl really is by not siding with the victim.
I watched John Fawcett's Ginger Snaps (2000) for the third time. I love this film so much; it gets better every time I watch it. It's about two sisters, 15 and 16, who still haven't gone through puberty. The 16 year old one, Ginger, gets her period for the first time on the same night she's attacked by a werewolf. Her body and personality starts to change--she becomes hyper sexual, aggressive, hairy, and grows a tail. Her sister, Brigitte, gets help from a pot dealer/greenhouse keeper who runs over the werewolf that bit Ginger. They both do the trial & error method to find a cure for Ginger, whose symptoms are getting worse. I gotta say it again: I love this movie so much. I like its take on puberty, pre-pubescent angst, female sexuality, & sisterly love. There's a lot of female to female platonic love and man hating in this film. It's unfortunate that it gets a mediocre rating on IMDB.
I watched Michael Lehmann's Heathers (1988) on IFC. It's about a girl who's friends with popular girls all named Heather. The girl, Veronica, hates all the Heathers. A new kid played by Christian Slater becomes Veronica's boyfriend and together, they kill the most popular Heather and a couple other people after that. I abso-fucking-lutely hated Christian Slater in this movie. He's trying to be Jack Nicholson. He copies Jack's voice, delivery, and facial expressions. Jack Nicholson is THE fucking Jack Nicholson and you're just a fucking copy cat, Christian. I couldn't get over this irritation so I couldn't enjoy the movie.
The second film is Jerome Storm's The Busher (1919). It's about a small town baseball player who makes it to the big leagues. As soon as he leaves town for the big city to play for a major league team, he gets a new set of clothes, forgets his friends and family, and leaves his small-town love for a fashionable big city groupie. He plays miserably in his first game so the team fires him. He bums around for a while, until he eventually returns home ashamed, but his father takes him in and his love forgives him. The small town team asks him to play in a game they're losing and he wins it for the team. A big league manager sees him in this game and asks him to play for the majors again. The movie ends with him and his love about to play with a horse.
I watched Rainer Werner Fassbinder's Lola (1981) on DVD. It's about a small town where the entire city council patronize a whorehouse. A new city official comes in, and he's very professional and has no clue on how corrupt the town is. Another city councilman--the richest of the bunch--tells his whorehouse girlfriend Lola about this new guy and she bets him that she can make him kiss her, and the corrupt councilman tells her that a straight, proper guy like that would never kiss a girl like her. So Lola seduces the new guy and he falls in love with her. I liked the film. I really like the way it ended, which I won't give away. It's a good film.
I watched a lot of Barbara Kopple's Havoc (2005) on IFC. I didn't get to see it from the beginning, and there were a few scenes that I missed in the middle, but I got the gist of it. It's about a rich LA kid who goes to East LA and befriends a gang member. She's very intrigued by that lifestyle so she changes her style to fit in, but none of the gang members takes her seriously; they all think that she's just some rich wanna-be. I was very surprised with the way the film, directed by a woman, handled the topic of rape. It sends a message that some girls just asks for it. Or calls it when they find themselves in a sexual situation they don't like but they brought upon themselves in the first place. Although I kinda agree that the guys shouldn't be punished when the girl was the one who wanted a gang bang to begin with, I think the girl still deserves sympathy 'cause it's still a pretty fucking traumatizing experience. She's drunk and doesn't understand what she's about to get into. Kopple could have given her a little more sympathy. Or maybe I'm completely missing the point, and that Kopple doesn't share the view expressed by the main character in the film. Maybe she's just showing how messed up the girl really is by not siding with the victim.
I watched John Fawcett's Ginger Snaps (2000) for the third time. I love this film so much; it gets better every time I watch it. It's about two sisters, 15 and 16, who still haven't gone through puberty. The 16 year old one, Ginger, gets her period for the first time on the same night she's attacked by a werewolf. Her body and personality starts to change--she becomes hyper sexual, aggressive, hairy, and grows a tail. Her sister, Brigitte, gets help from a pot dealer/greenhouse keeper who runs over the werewolf that bit Ginger. They both do the trial & error method to find a cure for Ginger, whose symptoms are getting worse. I gotta say it again: I love this movie so much. I like its take on puberty, pre-pubescent angst, female sexuality, & sisterly love. There's a lot of female to female platonic love and man hating in this film. It's unfortunate that it gets a mediocre rating on IMDB.
I watched Michael Lehmann's Heathers (1988) on IFC. It's about a girl who's friends with popular girls all named Heather. The girl, Veronica, hates all the Heathers. A new kid played by Christian Slater becomes Veronica's boyfriend and together, they kill the most popular Heather and a couple other people after that. I abso-fucking-lutely hated Christian Slater in this movie. He's trying to be Jack Nicholson. He copies Jack's voice, delivery, and facial expressions. Jack Nicholson is THE fucking Jack Nicholson and you're just a fucking copy cat, Christian. I couldn't get over this irritation so I couldn't enjoy the movie.
- I was reading a post by someone who claims to be a prophet (this was obviously from schizophrenia.com). He mentions something about populating the moon, which made me think of how the sun will be gone some day, and that in order to survive humans--if they're still around billions of years from now--will have to build spaceships to transfer populations to outer space, gradually, billions of years before the impending doom. I had a vision of the last spaceship to leave earth and thought about how the future generations that will come out of those survivors will never have a memory of earth, and my generation will exist only in ancient history, an ancestral civilization from far, far away. This thought made me very, very sad; I really took it to heart.
- Remember when I was constantly posting gibberish here in forms of poems? The voices were very loud back then and were commanding me to jut things down for them. I kinda miss that. They made sense to me; they contained a lot of inside jokes--just between me and the voices.
- Soon I will have a watch; I haven't had one since high school, and the watch that I had back then was a pocket watch. I haven't had a wrist watch since middle school.
- I woke up at 1 pm today and I've already smoked 3 cigarettes. Damn.
- My mom's friend, the woman whose kids I tutored in high school, gave me a Xmas card and a $50 check. Six dollars and a few cents more and that's a carton of American Spirit. And I thought I didn't have enough money for a carton this month. Thanks for supporting my habit, girl!
- Medication gives me vivid dreams. I don't think I had vivid dreams before being medicated. I think the first vivid dream I had was a few years ago when I was put on Geodon, and now that I've been taking Invega, vivid dreams have become a norm.
- Last night I dreamed that I had an apartment in the dungeons of an old castle in Italy. It was modernly furnished, but I had to walk through a fire-lit tunnel to get to the door. The whole castle was converted into an apartment building and I took one of the apartments in the dungeons because I liked how when you open the door, there's a modern staircase that descends to the living space. The only problem was that there were no windows. I didn't want to wake up 'cause I really loved the place.
I've been typing a bunch of stuff in a bunch of different websites instead of reading Goethe's Faust. I've also only been watching movies on movie channels; I have a Netflix DVD just lying around untouched.
I think I just miss being around people and talking, so I use the internet as an alternative. I've gone without any form of communication, not even online, before, but that was when I was in a very deep depression.
To go back to the anti-big pharmaceutical industry comment I mentioned in my last post...
I was so deep into delusion that I thought all drugs were placebos. I thought that we've gone so far ahead in technology (but all top-secret) that there was no need for drugs anymore; the brain can be manipulated from a remote location to cure all diseases. I thought this new technology was not being revealed to the public because the pharmaceutical industry would go bankrupt, so to save these companies, the gov't vowed to never reveal what was really going on--that all medications were placebos, but they give the impression that they work because the gov't manipulates the brain once the patient takes the pill. I refused to take medication 'cause I didn't want to be part of the gov't-pharmaceutical conspiracy. I said I'd rather be insane. When I was court ordered to take Abilify, I stopped bitching 'cause it didn't work for me. I thought the gov't agents who were in charge of me didn't like the company that makes Abilify.
Anyway, here are some more random thoughts:
I think I just miss being around people and talking, so I use the internet as an alternative. I've gone without any form of communication, not even online, before, but that was when I was in a very deep depression.
To go back to the anti-big pharmaceutical industry comment I mentioned in my last post...
I was so deep into delusion that I thought all drugs were placebos. I thought that we've gone so far ahead in technology (but all top-secret) that there was no need for drugs anymore; the brain can be manipulated from a remote location to cure all diseases. I thought this new technology was not being revealed to the public because the pharmaceutical industry would go bankrupt, so to save these companies, the gov't vowed to never reveal what was really going on--that all medications were placebos, but they give the impression that they work because the gov't manipulates the brain once the patient takes the pill. I refused to take medication 'cause I didn't want to be part of the gov't-pharmaceutical conspiracy. I said I'd rather be insane. When I was court ordered to take Abilify, I stopped bitching 'cause it didn't work for me. I thought the gov't agents who were in charge of me didn't like the company that makes Abilify.
Anyway, here are some more random thoughts:
- I miss my mom, but she's coming home tonight and I can't wait. My dad's coming home tomorrow and like the last time he went to the Philippines, I worry that something might have happened to him 'cause he never calls home. He's too cheap to make long-distance phone calls. I'm sure he'll come home safe.
- I wanna take public transportation to see Antichrist, but I'm scared that I might miss the last train and/or bus that takes me home. I don't want my dad to take me all the way to Salt Lake since that's a lot of gas money, and I have an Ed pass so I can ride the bus and train for free, but like I said, I'm afraid I might miss my rides and might end up calling my dad to pick me up, so he'd have to go to Salt Lake anyway.
- I made brown rice yesterday and it was so good. I made brown rice again today--a lot of it so I can still have some for the next few days (my mom will be using the rice cooker so I won't be able to use it again). I made stir-fried tofu and vegetables. So good.
- The clementines I bought are very sour. :( I'm just gonna squeeze them into juice.
- I just realized that a lot of people at schizophrenia.com are actively psychotic. I thought there were more high functioning schizophrenics there, but I guess a lot of the people who are posting a lot these days are still delusional. Maybe they're well-functioning too, but they're delusional nonetheless. I don't wanna be the one to tell them to up their dosage, 'cause I hated people who pushed meds on me when I was insane, so I just post comments like "I used to think that too, but over time and maybe with the help of medication, I've grown to think that I just had a chemical imbalance in my brain."
- But maybe I'm still delusional too 'cause I just haven't ruled out the fact that there might really be a top-secret gov't mind control operation, at least with rudimentary technology. I mean, it has been revealed that the military is investing on helmets that will make soldiers able to communicate to each other with their minds. (http://www.physorg.com/news141314439.htm
l) - While smoking, I had a brief moment of reflection of how I'm wasting my life. Then I reminded myself that I will be going back to school next year, and that made me feel better.
- I thought the phone rang just now. Auditory hallucinations? Nah, just one of those I thought I heard something moments. But isn't that an example of an auditory hallucination? Daniel B. Smith would say so.
- I kinda wanna read the textbooks I bought now, but I keep on getting lazy and just wanna read and post stuff online. I guess that's normal. People who work in offices spend a lot of time doing personal nonsense online. Students procrastinate by going online. My internet obsession is normal, although this is the time of my life when I spend the most time on the internet. Reminds me of that South Park episode that I just watched last week.
- I like http://contexts.org/socimages/
- I thought I heard the phone ring. AGAIN.
- I bought new headphones--same as the last one I had that broke--but I wrapped it, wrote "From Santa," and put it under the Xmas tree. I wish I could use them now, but I just have to wait. I really hate the damn earphones I bought.
- Now I'm getting nervous about going back to school again.
- I've been smoking less 'cause I had been coughing a lot at night. Since cutting down, I haven't been coughing at all.
- I'm really just killing time 'til something new comes up in schizophrenia.com, facebook, and jackassworld.
TV
10/2
24 Season 4 (Joel Surnow & Robert Cochran, DVD) - 9.0
A terrorist launches a multi-tiered plan that lasts all day, and puts lots of Americans in jeopardy, so Jack Bauer comes back to CTU to help stop it. This season got off to kind of a slow start (for this show, anyway), but it eventually gets as amazing and riveting as ever. I’m pretty sure there is someone tortured and/or killed in every single episode.
MOVIES
10/2
The Lost Boys (Rewatch, 1987, Joel Schumacher, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
Corey Haim and Jason Patric are brothers who move to Santa Carla, and there are vampires there led by 24’s Keifer Sutherland, and Patric gets involved with them, while Haim gets involved with vampire hunters played by Corey Feldman and some other guy. There’s also some other stuff going on, like a pretty funny grandfather who gives Haim an amazing taxidermied beaver that Haim does not properly appreciate. It’s really great, and fun, and campy.
Near Dark (Rewatch, 1987, Kathryn Bigelow, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
A Texan is seduced by a girl who turns out to be a vampire, and she bites him, so he ends up traveling around with her vampire gang, but he has to prove himself to them, because they don’t think he can handle it. The cast is really amazing, especially Bill Paxton and Joshua John Miller, who throughout the film, each just move in certain ways and manage to create awesomeness. It’s a slow movie, but also a dark and brutal one that keeps on giving, and I love it more every time I watch it.
10/3
Amelie (Rewatch, 2001, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, 35mm, Clay) - 8.5
A woman named Amelie secretly helps people out with their lives, or occasionally does the opposite if the person is a dick, and she also lures in a guy she has a crush on in various unique and quirky ways. It’s really fucking charming, and totally great.
10/4
Sex Drive (2008, Sean Anders, Roku) - 7.5
A high school virgin drives cross-country with his best friends to meet up and have sex with a girl he met online. A pretty decent sex comedy, with a few hilarious lines. Clark Duke and Seth Green are really good in it. For the Unrated version, they digitally inserted nude girls walking past the camera at random, and also left in some outtakes, and it’s kind of amazing.
10/7
Jennifer's Body (2009, Karyn Kusama, 35mm, Metreon) - 9.0
Amanda Seyfried and Megan Fox are best friends, but then Megan Fox is sacrificed to the devil by a shitty indie rock band trying to find fame, but since Fox isn’t the virgin they thought she was, she comes back from the dead with a bloodlust, and so Seyfried has to stop her from killing people.
But before I review the movie, here’s my review of Megan Fox. I don't think she's ugly, but I do think she looks generic and boring. But since so many others obviously do find her, apparently, insanely attractive, I feel inclined not to like her. But then I feel guilty, like I’m hating someone just because I don't find them attractive, so I end up liking her, but almost out of pity, and it’s a weird reversal of everyone else’s take on her. I think because she’s so “hot”, people tear into her, and label her a whore and an idiot, and I’m always reading these quotes of horrible things she said, and whenever I hear this shit, I find myself getting extremely defensive, like “God, whatever, I’m sure that quote is taken way out of context from an already misquoted interview, so leave her alone!” and then I get confused because I don’t understand why I even give a shit. I guess there’s just something about her that charms me. And it may have begun based in pity, but now that I’ve actually seen her on talk shows (or one talk show, anyway), I can say that she’s legitimately pretty charming, and comes off totally normal and un-stupid.
And she’s fucking amazing in Jennifer’s Body. She keeps her friendship with Seyfried’s character in the beginning endearing and realistic, and once possessed, she’s perfectly bitchy and seductive. She’s also the only actor in the movie who can make some of Diablo Cody’s retarded dialogue actually sound natural. The movie itself is also awesome. It’s funny, with an original story, suspense, and some decent bloody scenes. And I also appreciated that if Megan Fox’s looks don’t really do it for you, there’s still some eye candy with the adorable Amanda Seyfried, in glasses. And if even she doesn’t do it for you, then how about J.K. fucking Simmons with a jew-fro and a hook-arm? Amazing.
10/7 and 12/6
Zombieland (2009, Ruben Fleischer, 35mm, Metreon/Red Vic) - 9.0
There’s been a zombie apocalypse, and Jesse Eisenberg is on his own, keeping himself alive by adhering to a strict set of rules he’s put together, and then he meets up with Woody Harrelson and they start traveling together, and then they meet up with two sisters who are apparently from different towns (I was a little confused on this point). It’s a really fun fucking movie with awesome zombie kills, and it’s pretty hilarious, too. But it impressively manages to maintain a constant level of tragedy, never forgetting the hopeless situation these characters are in. Eisenberg and Harrelson are amazing and hilarious, and Emma Stone was fucking awesome, too, and also has some funny moments. Abigail Breslin was, I don’t know, also in the movie. I strongly recommend this one if you like entertainment.
10/7
Twilight (2008, Catherine Hardwicke, Blu-ray) - 8.0
Kristen Stewart moves in with her dad in a new town, and there are some non-violent, but socially awkward vampires who go to her school, and she falls for one of them, even though he’s ugly and always stares at her all creepy and wide-eyed like he’s been shooting up coffee, which is probably a fairly accurate interpretation of how a pervy guy in his hundreds would look at a high school girl, and so they start dating, but then there’s some dick vampire (don’t read that literally, I just mean he’s an asshole) who wants to kill her, so Edward (the ugly vamp) and his family have to protect her. It’s a slightly ridiculous movie, and a really good one.
10/8
The Loveless (1982, Kathryn Bigelow & Monty Montgomery, DVD) - 5.0
Willem Dafoe leads a motorcycle gang in the 50’s and they go to some diner, and hang out, and they go a couple other places, and hang around there, and then Dafoe hooks up with a girl, and her dad gets mad about it, and that’s about it. It isn’t terrible, but it’s mostly pretty boring.
10/10
Slumber Party Massacre (1982, Amy Holden Jones, VHS) - 7.0
Some girls have a slumber party, and an escaped lunatic with a power-drill shows up to kill them all. There’s lots to like here, but it needed to be a lot funnier, campier, and bloodier. A bit disappointing for something with lots of potential.
10/2
24 Season 4 (Joel Surnow & Robert Cochran, DVD) - 9.0
A terrorist launches a multi-tiered plan that lasts all day, and puts lots of Americans in jeopardy, so Jack Bauer comes back to CTU to help stop it. This season got off to kind of a slow start (for this show, anyway), but it eventually gets as amazing and riveting as ever. I’m pretty sure there is someone tortured and/or killed in every single episode.
MOVIES
10/2
The Lost Boys (Rewatch, 1987, Joel Schumacher, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
Corey Haim and Jason Patric are brothers who move to Santa Carla, and there are vampires there led by 24’s Keifer Sutherland, and Patric gets involved with them, while Haim gets involved with vampire hunters played by Corey Feldman and some other guy. There’s also some other stuff going on, like a pretty funny grandfather who gives Haim an amazing taxidermied beaver that Haim does not properly appreciate. It’s really great, and fun, and campy.
Near Dark (Rewatch, 1987, Kathryn Bigelow, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
A Texan is seduced by a girl who turns out to be a vampire, and she bites him, so he ends up traveling around with her vampire gang, but he has to prove himself to them, because they don’t think he can handle it. The cast is really amazing, especially Bill Paxton and Joshua John Miller, who throughout the film, each just move in certain ways and manage to create awesomeness. It’s a slow movie, but also a dark and brutal one that keeps on giving, and I love it more every time I watch it.
10/3
Amelie (Rewatch, 2001, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, 35mm, Clay) - 8.5
A woman named Amelie secretly helps people out with their lives, or occasionally does the opposite if the person is a dick, and she also lures in a guy she has a crush on in various unique and quirky ways. It’s really fucking charming, and totally great.
10/4
Sex Drive (2008, Sean Anders, Roku) - 7.5
A high school virgin drives cross-country with his best friends to meet up and have sex with a girl he met online. A pretty decent sex comedy, with a few hilarious lines. Clark Duke and Seth Green are really good in it. For the Unrated version, they digitally inserted nude girls walking past the camera at random, and also left in some outtakes, and it’s kind of amazing.
10/7
Jennifer's Body (2009, Karyn Kusama, 35mm, Metreon) - 9.0
Amanda Seyfried and Megan Fox are best friends, but then Megan Fox is sacrificed to the devil by a shitty indie rock band trying to find fame, but since Fox isn’t the virgin they thought she was, she comes back from the dead with a bloodlust, and so Seyfried has to stop her from killing people.
But before I review the movie, here’s my review of Megan Fox. I don't think she's ugly, but I do think she looks generic and boring. But since so many others obviously do find her, apparently, insanely attractive, I feel inclined not to like her. But then I feel guilty, like I’m hating someone just because I don't find them attractive, so I end up liking her, but almost out of pity, and it’s a weird reversal of everyone else’s take on her. I think because she’s so “hot”, people tear into her, and label her a whore and an idiot, and I’m always reading these quotes of horrible things she said, and whenever I hear this shit, I find myself getting extremely defensive, like “God, whatever, I’m sure that quote is taken way out of context from an already misquoted interview, so leave her alone!” and then I get confused because I don’t understand why I even give a shit. I guess there’s just something about her that charms me. And it may have begun based in pity, but now that I’ve actually seen her on talk shows (or one talk show, anyway), I can say that she’s legitimately pretty charming, and comes off totally normal and un-stupid.
And she’s fucking amazing in Jennifer’s Body. She keeps her friendship with Seyfried’s character in the beginning endearing and realistic, and once possessed, she’s perfectly bitchy and seductive. She’s also the only actor in the movie who can make some of Diablo Cody’s retarded dialogue actually sound natural. The movie itself is also awesome. It’s funny, with an original story, suspense, and some decent bloody scenes. And I also appreciated that if Megan Fox’s looks don’t really do it for you, there’s still some eye candy with the adorable Amanda Seyfried, in glasses. And if even she doesn’t do it for you, then how about J.K. fucking Simmons with a jew-fro and a hook-arm? Amazing.
10/7 and 12/6
Zombieland (2009, Ruben Fleischer, 35mm, Metreon/Red Vic) - 9.0
There’s been a zombie apocalypse, and Jesse Eisenberg is on his own, keeping himself alive by adhering to a strict set of rules he’s put together, and then he meets up with Woody Harrelson and they start traveling together, and then they meet up with two sisters who are apparently from different towns (I was a little confused on this point). It’s a really fun fucking movie with awesome zombie kills, and it’s pretty hilarious, too. But it impressively manages to maintain a constant level of tragedy, never forgetting the hopeless situation these characters are in. Eisenberg and Harrelson are amazing and hilarious, and Emma Stone was fucking awesome, too, and also has some funny moments. Abigail Breslin was, I don’t know, also in the movie. I strongly recommend this one if you like entertainment.
10/7
Twilight (2008, Catherine Hardwicke, Blu-ray) - 8.0
Kristen Stewart moves in with her dad in a new town, and there are some non-violent, but socially awkward vampires who go to her school, and she falls for one of them, even though he’s ugly and always stares at her all creepy and wide-eyed like he’s been shooting up coffee, which is probably a fairly accurate interpretation of how a pervy guy in his hundreds would look at a high school girl, and so they start dating, but then there’s some dick vampire (don’t read that literally, I just mean he’s an asshole) who wants to kill her, so Edward (the ugly vamp) and his family have to protect her. It’s a slightly ridiculous movie, and a really good one.
10/8
The Loveless (1982, Kathryn Bigelow & Monty Montgomery, DVD) - 5.0
Willem Dafoe leads a motorcycle gang in the 50’s and they go to some diner, and hang out, and they go a couple other places, and hang around there, and then Dafoe hooks up with a girl, and her dad gets mad about it, and that’s about it. It isn’t terrible, but it’s mostly pretty boring.
10/10
Slumber Party Massacre (1982, Amy Holden Jones, VHS) - 7.0
Some girls have a slumber party, and an escaped lunatic with a power-drill shows up to kill them all. There’s lots to like here, but it needed to be a lot funnier, campier, and bloodier. A bit disappointing for something with lots of potential.
I was feeling really good yesterday. I spent a lot of time responding to posts on schizophrenia.com. Then I found myself unable to sleep. The day before, I didn't sleep early and woke up past noon, so that's probably why I couldn't sleep last night. However, my inability to sleep was joined by an empty feeling and casual thoughts of suicide. Since being medicated, I've found myself either holding conversations with the independent thoughts in my head, thinking in terms of a journal post, or thinking of nothing at all. You know how yogis say having a clear mind is a good thing? Not for me.
It's not good when your empty mind is a result of medication. I used to be constantly thinking before I was diagnosed. I think that's what makes a healthy mind--it's exercise for the brain. Clearing your mind for meditation is beneficial if you're constantly working, worrying, stressing, etc. Being in a zen moment is pleasant 'cause your mind is at peace. But there's such a thing as an empty mind in a non-peaceful state--that's what I had last night.
Then suicidal thoughts appeared. Maybe it's normal to think that way sometimes. I'm sure mentally healthy people have down times too, although I can't say the same thing for myself pre-schizophrenia. Suicidal thoughts never came to mind then. Homicidal thoughts, yes, but no suicide. But homicidal thoughts along the lines of being so angry or annoyed that I'd say, "I wanna kill that guy." Also my curiosity towards serial killing, or killing without getting caught. I never thought there was anything wrong with that as I knew I wasn't the only person obsessed with serial killers.
Anyway, last night, I was scared that I was about to go crazy all over again. I wanted to post something here, but my internet connection was down. It was pretty late and I didn't wanna go to my sister's room to unplug the router as she and/or her husband might wake up. So instead, I took out my bound journal. After writing an entry, I looked back at what I wrote the last time I went psychotic. One thing's clear: I was convinced that I wasn't insane. I kept saying that my environment was wrong, not my mind. I wrote about how people were trying to copy me. This brought back memories. When I went crazy, it was sort of an enlightening experience. I was too aware, you can say. The way people were acting reminded me of myself; it was as if they were copying me. But isn't that what being human is all about? The people we're surrounded by influence us, and vice versa. Of course this detail went way over my head and I began to think that everybody was copying me. I also thought my friend from Bard hypnotized me a while ago, and it wasn't until I was enlightened that I woke up from it. I thought that my whole family had been hypnotized and I was the only one who had woken up. Yes, it wasn't too long ago when I watched Herzog's Heart of Glass then. That's obviously where I got that from. My friend's talk of hypnotism too. And the whole enlightening part I probably got from reading a lot of philosophy and meditating.
I wanted to call a suicide hotline, but the only number I had was a local one, and I knew that late at night they'd have to wake up the volunteer. I didn't wanna bother him/her since my suicidal thoughts were only casual. But I wanted to talk to someone about my fears. I wanted to talk to someone who could explain to me why I was feeling that way. I wanted a therapist. I thought about leaving my therapist a message that I wanna schedule an appointment, but I figured, the state I was in might just be temporary. I'm feeling better now but I'm afraid to sleep. I might not fall asleep early again 'cause I took a couple of naps today. I might get the feeling of emptiness and casual thoughts of suicide again.
I don't ever wanna go crazy again, but if I do, I hope I would at least have insight toward my illness and seek psychiatric help. No more trying to figure out what's wrong with the world; it's all in my head. It's all chemical.
The problem with treating a chemical imbalance is that you'd have to take medications that dull your mind. I think I need a little bit of chemical imbalance to have an ideal personality. It's like this poem:
"The Pill Versus the Springhill Mine Disaster"
When you take your pill
it's like a mine disaster.
I think of all the people
lost inside of you.
-Richard Brautigan
I've come along way from being anti-psychiatry to accepting my illness. I don't know why I was so anti-psychiatry to begin with; that's Scientology bullshit. But I guess it just comes from my hatred of big corporations. It's true that the pharmaceutical industry has a tight control over psychiatrists and therapists. It's also true that psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists are trained to find something wrong with people and label them as such. There's this one psychologist, who happens to be a schizophrenic, who came up with the label "chronically normal." What the fuck? Even being normal is sounding like a disease. The rebellious side of me says being normal IS a disease. If I had to choose between being insane diseased, or normal diseased, I really don't know what to choose. I'll take the cowardly route and say I wanna be in the middle.
It's not good when your empty mind is a result of medication. I used to be constantly thinking before I was diagnosed. I think that's what makes a healthy mind--it's exercise for the brain. Clearing your mind for meditation is beneficial if you're constantly working, worrying, stressing, etc. Being in a zen moment is pleasant 'cause your mind is at peace. But there's such a thing as an empty mind in a non-peaceful state--that's what I had last night.
Then suicidal thoughts appeared. Maybe it's normal to think that way sometimes. I'm sure mentally healthy people have down times too, although I can't say the same thing for myself pre-schizophrenia. Suicidal thoughts never came to mind then. Homicidal thoughts, yes, but no suicide. But homicidal thoughts along the lines of being so angry or annoyed that I'd say, "I wanna kill that guy." Also my curiosity towards serial killing, or killing without getting caught. I never thought there was anything wrong with that as I knew I wasn't the only person obsessed with serial killers.
Anyway, last night, I was scared that I was about to go crazy all over again. I wanted to post something here, but my internet connection was down. It was pretty late and I didn't wanna go to my sister's room to unplug the router as she and/or her husband might wake up. So instead, I took out my bound journal. After writing an entry, I looked back at what I wrote the last time I went psychotic. One thing's clear: I was convinced that I wasn't insane. I kept saying that my environment was wrong, not my mind. I wrote about how people were trying to copy me. This brought back memories. When I went crazy, it was sort of an enlightening experience. I was too aware, you can say. The way people were acting reminded me of myself; it was as if they were copying me. But isn't that what being human is all about? The people we're surrounded by influence us, and vice versa. Of course this detail went way over my head and I began to think that everybody was copying me. I also thought my friend from Bard hypnotized me a while ago, and it wasn't until I was enlightened that I woke up from it. I thought that my whole family had been hypnotized and I was the only one who had woken up. Yes, it wasn't too long ago when I watched Herzog's Heart of Glass then. That's obviously where I got that from. My friend's talk of hypnotism too. And the whole enlightening part I probably got from reading a lot of philosophy and meditating.
I wanted to call a suicide hotline, but the only number I had was a local one, and I knew that late at night they'd have to wake up the volunteer. I didn't wanna bother him/her since my suicidal thoughts were only casual. But I wanted to talk to someone about my fears. I wanted to talk to someone who could explain to me why I was feeling that way. I wanted a therapist. I thought about leaving my therapist a message that I wanna schedule an appointment, but I figured, the state I was in might just be temporary. I'm feeling better now but I'm afraid to sleep. I might not fall asleep early again 'cause I took a couple of naps today. I might get the feeling of emptiness and casual thoughts of suicide again.
I don't ever wanna go crazy again, but if I do, I hope I would at least have insight toward my illness and seek psychiatric help. No more trying to figure out what's wrong with the world; it's all in my head. It's all chemical.
The problem with treating a chemical imbalance is that you'd have to take medications that dull your mind. I think I need a little bit of chemical imbalance to have an ideal personality. It's like this poem:
"The Pill Versus the Springhill Mine Disaster"
When you take your pill
it's like a mine disaster.
I think of all the people
lost inside of you.
-Richard Brautigan
I've come along way from being anti-psychiatry to accepting my illness. I don't know why I was so anti-psychiatry to begin with; that's Scientology bullshit. But I guess it just comes from my hatred of big corporations. It's true that the pharmaceutical industry has a tight control over psychiatrists and therapists. It's also true that psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists are trained to find something wrong with people and label them as such. There's this one psychologist, who happens to be a schizophrenic, who came up with the label "chronically normal." What the fuck? Even being normal is sounding like a disease. The rebellious side of me says being normal IS a disease. If I had to choose between being insane diseased, or normal diseased, I really don't know what to choose. I'll take the cowardly route and say I wanna be in the middle.
PLAY
9/19
South Pacific (Dir. Bartlett Sher, Golden Gate Theatre) - 3.0
I don’t go to plays much, especially big, expensive ones, but I was given free tickets to this. It was kind of a fun night, just because it felt like a such an event, and was all very extravagant. The play itself, though, didn’t do anything for me. The humor was fucking terrible, and I didn’t give a shit about the story. I think it’s just dated. And like, there’s this whole subplot about this Island woman who pimps out her daughter to an American soldier, and they apparently fall in love, but everyone is prejudiced against them because they’re interracial. But I couldn’t take it seriously because I was fucking prejudiced against them, too. Not because they were interracial, but because they didn’t speak the same fucking language. I vote NO on Unable To Fucking Communicate With Each Other Marriages. Maybe there’s a future for them, if they take some classes, but until they can do more than fuck and stare at each other, I’m not buying that they’re in love. I did like the music, though.
MOVIES
9/21
Pieces (1982, Juan Piquer Simon, DVD) - 9.5
A little kid murders his mother after she nags about his filthy jigsaw puzzle with a nude woman on it, and then 40 years later, he starts killing women again, and hacking off pieces of them to make his own real life jigsaw puzzle. Lots of gore, that is sometimes done effectively, but is often just blood spraying everywhere from offscreen, but the effort here is always worth appreciating. The characters are all pretty hilarious, and there are some truly weird and random scenes that are truly fucking brilliant. It’s amazing. And this poster is also fucking amazing, as are both of the taglines.
9/23
Taxi Driver (Prewatch, 1976, Martin Scorsese, 35mm, Castro) - 10.0
Robert De Niro is a taxi driver who seems kind of normal, but slightly off, and slowly reveals himself to be fucking crazy. I hadn’t seen this since high school, and I don’t think I really understood it then. This movie is fucked. Travis Bickle’s craziness builds in very subtle, but effective ways, and it’s totally horrifying and disturbing to watch. I fucking loved it.
After Hours (Rewatch, 1985, Martin Scorsese, 35mm, Castro) - 9.5
Griffin Dunne meets Rosanna Arquette late one night, and he goes to the loft she’s staying at, and ends up losing all his money, so he can’t get home, and all these things keep going wrong, and he keeps meeting women who turn out to be crazy, and then everybody thinks he’s a thief, and is chasing after him. Very dark comedy, and fucking awesome.
9/26
Goodfellas (1990, Martin Scorsese, 35mm, Castro) - 7.0
Ray Liotta tells the story of becoming and being a gangster. It starts out really great, but about halfway through, I started hating every single character, and didn’t give a shit what happened to any of them. Was Liotta supposed to remain a protagonist all the way through, just because he never killed anyone? Whatever, fuck that guy. I liked how it ended, though, and I loved the violence.
The Departed (Rewatch, 2006, Martin Scorsese, 35mm, Castro) - 9.5
Jack Nicholson is a mob boss and Leonardo DiCaprio goes undercover for the cops, joining his gang, and Matt Damon works for Nicholson, and goes undercover by joining the cops, and everybody is obsessed with rats. It’s compelling and amazing, and Leo and Mark Wahlberg are especially awesome to watch.
9/30
The King of Comedy (Prewatch, 1982, Martin Scorsese, DVD) - 9.0
Robert De Niro is an aspiring stand-up comedian named Rupert Pupkin who is determined to debut his act on Jerry Lewis’ late-night talk show, and also he is crazy, and along with obsessive stalker-fanatic Sandra Bernhard, he makes this debut happen by kidnapping Lewis. De Niro and Bernhard are both brilliant, and De Niro especially is perfectly uncomfortable to watch. Great fucking movie, and one of Scorsese’s best.
9/27
Time Piece (Short, 1964, Jim Henson, Internet) - 7.0
Early short written, directed, starring, etc. Jim Henson. Kind of tells a story about Henson doing stuff, and creates its own rhythm while doing so. It’s experimental, but in an accessible way that almost makes me appreciate the experimental short form. Pretty good.
September Top 10
1. Taxi Driver
2. The Final Destination
3. Pieces
4. Risky Business
5. Brighton Rock
6. Paranormal Activity
7. Virtuosity
8. Stingray Sam
9. District 9
10. Gamer
9/19
South Pacific (Dir. Bartlett Sher, Golden Gate Theatre) - 3.0
I don’t go to plays much, especially big, expensive ones, but I was given free tickets to this. It was kind of a fun night, just because it felt like a such an event, and was all very extravagant. The play itself, though, didn’t do anything for me. The humor was fucking terrible, and I didn’t give a shit about the story. I think it’s just dated. And like, there’s this whole subplot about this Island woman who pimps out her daughter to an American soldier, and they apparently fall in love, but everyone is prejudiced against them because they’re interracial. But I couldn’t take it seriously because I was fucking prejudiced against them, too. Not because they were interracial, but because they didn’t speak the same fucking language. I vote NO on Unable To Fucking Communicate With Each Other Marriages. Maybe there’s a future for them, if they take some classes, but until they can do more than fuck and stare at each other, I’m not buying that they’re in love. I did like the music, though.
MOVIES
9/21
Pieces (1982, Juan Piquer Simon, DVD) - 9.5
A little kid murders his mother after she nags about his filthy jigsaw puzzle with a nude woman on it, and then 40 years later, he starts killing women again, and hacking off pieces of them to make his own real life jigsaw puzzle. Lots of gore, that is sometimes done effectively, but is often just blood spraying everywhere from offscreen, but the effort here is always worth appreciating. The characters are all pretty hilarious, and there are some truly weird and random scenes that are truly fucking brilliant. It’s amazing. And this poster is also fucking amazing, as are both of the taglines.
9/23
Taxi Driver (Prewatch, 1976, Martin Scorsese, 35mm, Castro) - 10.0
Robert De Niro is a taxi driver who seems kind of normal, but slightly off, and slowly reveals himself to be fucking crazy. I hadn’t seen this since high school, and I don’t think I really understood it then. This movie is fucked. Travis Bickle’s craziness builds in very subtle, but effective ways, and it’s totally horrifying and disturbing to watch. I fucking loved it.
After Hours (Rewatch, 1985, Martin Scorsese, 35mm, Castro) - 9.5
Griffin Dunne meets Rosanna Arquette late one night, and he goes to the loft she’s staying at, and ends up losing all his money, so he can’t get home, and all these things keep going wrong, and he keeps meeting women who turn out to be crazy, and then everybody thinks he’s a thief, and is chasing after him. Very dark comedy, and fucking awesome.
9/26
Goodfellas (1990, Martin Scorsese, 35mm, Castro) - 7.0
Ray Liotta tells the story of becoming and being a gangster. It starts out really great, but about halfway through, I started hating every single character, and didn’t give a shit what happened to any of them. Was Liotta supposed to remain a protagonist all the way through, just because he never killed anyone? Whatever, fuck that guy. I liked how it ended, though, and I loved the violence.
The Departed (Rewatch, 2006, Martin Scorsese, 35mm, Castro) - 9.5
Jack Nicholson is a mob boss and Leonardo DiCaprio goes undercover for the cops, joining his gang, and Matt Damon works for Nicholson, and goes undercover by joining the cops, and everybody is obsessed with rats. It’s compelling and amazing, and Leo and Mark Wahlberg are especially awesome to watch.
9/30
The King of Comedy (Prewatch, 1982, Martin Scorsese, DVD) - 9.0
Robert De Niro is an aspiring stand-up comedian named Rupert Pupkin who is determined to debut his act on Jerry Lewis’ late-night talk show, and also he is crazy, and along with obsessive stalker-fanatic Sandra Bernhard, he makes this debut happen by kidnapping Lewis. De Niro and Bernhard are both brilliant, and De Niro especially is perfectly uncomfortable to watch. Great fucking movie, and one of Scorsese’s best.
9/27
Time Piece (Short, 1964, Jim Henson, Internet) - 7.0
Early short written, directed, starring, etc. Jim Henson. Kind of tells a story about Henson doing stuff, and creates its own rhythm while doing so. It’s experimental, but in an accessible way that almost makes me appreciate the experimental short form. Pretty good.
September Top 10
1. Taxi Driver
2. The Final Destination
3. Pieces
4. Risky Business
5. Brighton Rock
6. Paranormal Activity
7. Virtuosity
8. Stingray Sam
9. District 9
10. Gamer
9/10
The 39 Steps (1935, Alfred Hitchcock, 35mm, Stanford) - 8.0
Some guy tries to help out a spy who he befriends, but when she’s killed, he goes on the run fearing he’ll be blamed for it, and so he tries to finish her spy mission for her, and ends up handcuffed to a woman for awhile. I liked it a lot.
Secret Agent (1936, Alfred Hitchcock, 35mm, Stanford) - 7.0
A spy teams up with a couple other spies to kill someone for some kind of war-related reasons, and one of the spy’s partners is Peter Lorre, who is amazing. It’s pretty good. Lorre is definitely the highlight.
9/12
Brighton Rock (1947, John Boulting, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
Richard Attenborough is a young gangster who has someone killed, and the police think it’s a suicide, but there’s a waitress who could prove it wasn’t, so Attenborough starts dating her, and then marries her so she can’t testify against him, but there’s some random nosy woman who is trying to solve the case. Attenborough is pretty evil in it, and the whole movie is kind of mean, and it's fucking awesome.
The Third Man (1949, Carol Reed, 35mm, Castro) - 6.5
Joseph Cotton is invited to Vienna by his friend who turns out to be dead, and so he tries to figure out what happened to him. It’s a pretty good movie, and when Orson Welles shows up, he’s very good in it. The problem with this movie, though, is a silly and upbeat score. I like the idea of a score that contrasts the tone of the movie, here being an upbeat score over a crime movie with dark content, and I think this is used to great effect in Risky Business (a lighter movie with an inappropriately brooding score), but the music in The Third Man plays unrelentingly throughout every fucking scene, often way too loudly, so it actually distracts from the fucking story. Honestly, I have no idea what makes this movie stand out above any other crime film from the 50's, anyway, but that score really blows its chances of being great.
9/15
Matchstick Men (2003, Ridley Scott, Roku) - 7.5
Nicolas Cage and Sam Rockwell are con artists, and Nic Cage discovers he has a teenage daughter (Alison Lohman), and she becomes involved in his life and business. Solid con movie with a good cast, but doesn’t really do anything special.
9/16
Gamer (2009, Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor, 35mm, Van Ness) - 8.0
There’s a videogame where players control actual Death Row inmates as they kill each other, and Gerard Butler is one of these inmates, and some people help him escape. Not as ridiculous and amazing as the Crank movies, but it’s still pretty great, and has a lot of awesome stuff in it, and I love most of the cast. I can’t stand Gerard Butler because he’s boring and ugly, but at first I thought he was ok in this. And while he’s not actually bad in it, I think the movie could’ve been significantly more incredible if the role had been played by someone with any fucking personality or charm. Still, though, great movie.
9/21
Crank (Rewatch, 2006, Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor, DVD) - 10.0
Jason Statham is injected with some Chinese shit that will kill him unless he keeps his adrenaline up, so he runs around getting himself in trouble, driving through malls, and forcing hospital workers to shock him with heart paddles, while trying to track down the man who killed him. It’s fucking amazing. When I first saw it, I didn’t like Amy Smart in it, and found her annoying, but I actually liked her this time, so I don’t know what my problem was.
5/9 & 9/22
Crank: High Voltage (2009, Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor, 35mm/Blu-ray, Metreon) - 10.0
Chev Chelios (Jason Fucking Statham) awakes to find some people stealing his organs, including his heart, which has been replaced with an artificial one that will only keep working if he regularly electrocutes himself, so he sets out to find his real one. The first Crank is one of my favorite action movies, and it completely blew me away when I first saw it with how ridiculous and over-the-top it was. I never really doubted that High Voltage would be equally amazing, despite the shitty trailer, and was pleased to find my expectations were more than met. Neveldine/Taylor once again electrocuted my notions of what a movie is even capable of, dropping my jaw constantly with innovative action setpieces that have no boundaries for how far they’ll go. It’s a brilliant follow-up to a perfect film. Equally ridiculous in all-new ways.
9/17
Stingray Sam (2009, Cory McAbee, 35mm, Red Vic) - 8.0
A sci-fi space musical done as serialized episodes, about Stingray Sam and a friend having to rescue a little girl from a rich guy and return her to her father. Pretty goofy, but it’s good and funny, with tiny robots and pregnant men, and the music is great. McAbee did a Q&A afterward that was also pretty good.
The 39 Steps (1935, Alfred Hitchcock, 35mm, Stanford) - 8.0
Some guy tries to help out a spy who he befriends, but when she’s killed, he goes on the run fearing he’ll be blamed for it, and so he tries to finish her spy mission for her, and ends up handcuffed to a woman for awhile. I liked it a lot.
Secret Agent (1936, Alfred Hitchcock, 35mm, Stanford) - 7.0
A spy teams up with a couple other spies to kill someone for some kind of war-related reasons, and one of the spy’s partners is Peter Lorre, who is amazing. It’s pretty good. Lorre is definitely the highlight.
9/12
Brighton Rock (1947, John Boulting, 35mm, Castro) - 9.0
Richard Attenborough is a young gangster who has someone killed, and the police think it’s a suicide, but there’s a waitress who could prove it wasn’t, so Attenborough starts dating her, and then marries her so she can’t testify against him, but there’s some random nosy woman who is trying to solve the case. Attenborough is pretty evil in it, and the whole movie is kind of mean, and it's fucking awesome.
The Third Man (1949, Carol Reed, 35mm, Castro) - 6.5
Joseph Cotton is invited to Vienna by his friend who turns out to be dead, and so he tries to figure out what happened to him. It’s a pretty good movie, and when Orson Welles shows up, he’s very good in it. The problem with this movie, though, is a silly and upbeat score. I like the idea of a score that contrasts the tone of the movie, here being an upbeat score over a crime movie with dark content, and I think this is used to great effect in Risky Business (a lighter movie with an inappropriately brooding score), but the music in The Third Man plays unrelentingly throughout every fucking scene, often way too loudly, so it actually distracts from the fucking story. Honestly, I have no idea what makes this movie stand out above any other crime film from the 50's, anyway, but that score really blows its chances of being great.
9/15
Matchstick Men (2003, Ridley Scott, Roku) - 7.5
Nicolas Cage and Sam Rockwell are con artists, and Nic Cage discovers he has a teenage daughter (Alison Lohman), and she becomes involved in his life and business. Solid con movie with a good cast, but doesn’t really do anything special.
9/16
Gamer (2009, Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor, 35mm, Van Ness) - 8.0
There’s a videogame where players control actual Death Row inmates as they kill each other, and Gerard Butler is one of these inmates, and some people help him escape. Not as ridiculous and amazing as the Crank movies, but it’s still pretty great, and has a lot of awesome stuff in it, and I love most of the cast. I can’t stand Gerard Butler because he’s boring and ugly, but at first I thought he was ok in this. And while he’s not actually bad in it, I think the movie could’ve been significantly more incredible if the role had been played by someone with any fucking personality or charm. Still, though, great movie.
9/21
Crank (Rewatch, 2006, Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor, DVD) - 10.0
Jason Statham is injected with some Chinese shit that will kill him unless he keeps his adrenaline up, so he runs around getting himself in trouble, driving through malls, and forcing hospital workers to shock him with heart paddles, while trying to track down the man who killed him. It’s fucking amazing. When I first saw it, I didn’t like Amy Smart in it, and found her annoying, but I actually liked her this time, so I don’t know what my problem was.
5/9 & 9/22
Crank: High Voltage (2009, Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor, 35mm/Blu-ray, Metreon) - 10.0
Chev Chelios (Jason Fucking Statham) awakes to find some people stealing his organs, including his heart, which has been replaced with an artificial one that will only keep working if he regularly electrocutes himself, so he sets out to find his real one. The first Crank is one of my favorite action movies, and it completely blew me away when I first saw it with how ridiculous and over-the-top it was. I never really doubted that High Voltage would be equally amazing, despite the shitty trailer, and was pleased to find my expectations were more than met. Neveldine/Taylor once again electrocuted my notions of what a movie is even capable of, dropping my jaw constantly with innovative action setpieces that have no boundaries for how far they’ll go. It’s a brilliant follow-up to a perfect film. Equally ridiculous in all-new ways.
9/17
Stingray Sam (2009, Cory McAbee, 35mm, Red Vic) - 8.0
A sci-fi space musical done as serialized episodes, about Stingray Sam and a friend having to rescue a little girl from a rich guy and return her to her father. Pretty goofy, but it’s good and funny, with tiny robots and pregnant men, and the music is great. McAbee did a Q&A afterward that was also pretty good.
Walking in the snow, which at times go as high as my calves, to get groceries is tiring. I bought salmon fillets, clementines, and two cartons of Silk Pumpkin Spice (they ran out of Nog). $20.06.